Word of the week: Scatological

By: Middeke, Kristen

Posted: 9/21/06

I lived the better part of my life not knowing the true meaning of "scatological."

By "better" I not only mean that I have been alive longer believing in the wrong definition than the right, but also that it was by far a better existence before the truth was revealed to me.

I can't tell you exactly how or when this revelation -that my definition was wrong- occurred, but it is safe to say that it was awkwardly late in my life.

Why, you the reader, might logically ask, was my actual quality of life negatively affected by such a trivial definition? You, the reader, might also believe that truth is in and of itself a good and judge me for not wanting to seek it out at all costs.

That is a philosophical stance that I am not prepared to argue. But I will say that in this specific situation, it is necessary to fart out a little thought-air to make room for a fresh perspective.

"Scatological" formerly meant, essentially, "sporadic" to me, the writer. As in, all over the place, crazy-like, yet inconsistently so.

If you are a simpleton, meaning if you are me, you draw the pseudo-logical conclusion that it makes sense because "scat" is kind of like "scattered" which probably comes from the Latin word (scat) meaning random, right?

So anyway, having had time to reflect on all the times I used "scatological" in a sentence (Oh, and friends, meaning you the reader, I used it all the time), I could have easily inserted the word "sporadic."

No, not really, but yes, probably. But to me, the word encompassed so much more. Teachers spoke in scatological ways. Authors wrote scatalogically (not even a word). My thoughts were oh-so-scatological.

In fact, in a way, if you, the reader, can wrap your puny little minds (no, not yours) around this, I secretly defined myself as "scatological" (first definition of "scatological" of course).

Meanwhile, I go through life using this word like I own it and insert it into sentences with such confidence that not a person corrects me, thus perpetuating my insanity.

So now tell me this, can you honestly think it was a good thing that I found out that this word, the very word that defined my world, I included, actually defined just really dirty dirty poopy things?

One, being you and me, would have to not think that's the truth. Since my discovery, I have faced some troubling times, but have come to realize that I can handle definition number dirty two, but have a harder time trying to decide my next mode of operation.

Do I find new and profound words to express the world as I see it? Or, do I mold myself into a scatologically ( again with the non-word) inclined individual in an unusually scatological world to justify the nonstop usage of the word?

Or, do I live in a word that cannot be defined… Or, do I, still me, have good times reminiscing of a more scatological time in my life, where things, meaning life, actually made sense.

I think we, meaning everybody now, can clearly deduce what the logical and sound conclusion is.

Oh yes, and thank you for your time.